My mother-in-law pointed out recently that everyone sees others through their own lens of choices. We are each where we are in life because of the many choices we have made along the way. Some have had much steeper hills to climb, but in the end we have each gradually chosen our current circumstances. Therefore, to feel good about ourselves, we assume that our choices were in fact the right choices. To validate ourselves, we tend to advise others and even cajole them to do what we did, make the sort of choices we made, follow in our footsteps, go into the family business, to get to the life we have created for ourselves. Those are of course the "right" choices. Unfortunately, virtually everyone has followed those bits of advice, usually to the "wrong" place or at least to not quite the "right" place.
The reality is that no two people have paths are even close to the same. No matter where you are in life right now, you have the choice to begin to turn the ship. It may now be a big ship with lots of passengers, like children, parents, friends, social structure or financial burdens, but it can be turned. If you are in a comparatively small ship, you can turn very quickly.
The first step is to find your genius. I often refer to this as your passion, but they are somewhat different. Where they overlap is the place where you can truly become great. That space is what you think about or do in your spare time. The stuff you read, on purpose, on the beach on vacation. When you "own" your time, and I realize that is often rare, what do you do or perhaps more accurately, what would you really love to be doing, if you could? Honestly.
I have maintained that to become successful (and that is in internally defined term) you have to become best in your "world" (and again that is an internally defined term). Becoming the best takes time and effort, no matter how good you may be at something. Larry Bird was a good solid athlete, but what made him great was the relentless willingness to do whatever it took to become the best. Not just the best he could be, but the best among the very best in the world. The gangly white guy from French Lick, Indiana became one of the two or three greatest basketball players of his era, and among the best of all time.
To spend that kind of rigorous relentless time becoming great, you have to be passionate about it. It has to be an area of your unique genius. The basics have to come pretty easily. They are things you learned because you found them fun when you were a child. This is the stuff you want to do whenever you possibly can. It has to be something you truly want to do ALL of the time. (Usually this rules out things like laying on the beach and fishing.)
For many, I would even say most, this can be very hard to find for many reasons.
- It is not what you are doing now and you have been doing it so long, though you really do not enjoy it, that to change would be perceived by others, especially your spouse, as ridiculous.
- This is certainly tougher the more people you have on your boat, so take it slowly until the final turn does not seem so dramatic. But start now.
- Finding your passion is a journey. It generally is not the actual thing you do, but why you love to do it. What about working crossword puzzles or crank shafts turns you on? Now apply that to life.
- You cannot imagine how you could possibly make a living doing what you love.
- You might not be able to live the way you are now, but you will likely be a lot happier.
- The reality is that the best in the world at everything are quite well off. If finances are important to you, focus your passion and genius on something that can get you there. Many of the best teachers are rich, but they teach adults, not children. The best welders are well off, they just do incredibly complex and delicate welding.
- If you are passionate about doing it and it is in your unique genius wheelhouse, you can be the best and make money.
- I would have to go back to school and I'm old and broke and my dad would be mad and and . . . What are your excuses?
When you find the intersection of your passion and unique genius, and work hard to become the best, those who need your talents for the most critical and high paying things, will seek you out. They simply cannot afford not to.
